So, the weekend is almost upon us. I suppose, in a sporting sense, you could say that it starts today.

Apparently the whole world will be glued to their television sets sometime between 6 and 7 pm BST this evening to witness the man who is, currently, the most famous cheating husband on the planet making his comeback to competitive golf. I used to quite enjoy watching golf on the telly. It was, unless it was the business end of a major that ended in a close battle, nice and relaxing. Then, along came Mr Eldrick Woods. Yes, he is quite obviously one of the best players ever to wield a golf club. Yes, he earns far more money in a year than I could dream of. But, the bottom line is, he has made golf a far, far more boring sport to watch with his robotic performances. And even less enjoyable to watch with his petty tantrums and spitting. Give me Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player, Lee Trevino and Chi Chi Rodriguez any day before “Tiger”. Give me the late Payne Stewart with his outlandish plus fours and NFL colour coded outfits than Mr “I must wear red on the final day” Woods.

You may gather, then, that mine will be one set of eyes that will not be following Elrond or whatever his bloody name is round one of the most beautiful golf courses on the planet. Although, if you could guarantee that his estranged wife would be stalking him down the fairways swinging the club that caused his…ahem…traffic accident, I would happily PAY to view.

Also this weekend, we have The Grand National. In the words of Adam Sandler in “The Wedding Singer”….WHOOPEEDEDOO. I hate horse racing with a passion. Doing it over fences doesn’t make it any more interesting…it just makes it less safe for the poor cuddies that are given the basic choice of “Get over that enormous hedge camouflaged fence or I will raise a welt the size and shape of a python on your arse!”. So, you would be correct in assuming that I will not be settling down to watch that either. Nor will I be parading down to the bookies to put a “Well, it IS the National” bet on.

No, the two major sporting events that I will be interested in will both be taking place at exactly the same venue and have BOTH been branded “David and Goliath” affairs.

The first of these two events I will actually be attending…Celtic v Ross County, Hampden Park, Glasgow 12:15. I won’t even bother asking why the powers that be at SKY TV and the SFA decided it would be smart to ask people to travel from Dingwall to Glasgow for a lunchtime kickoff…I can only assume that it has something to do with loading the dice in Celtic’s favour in order to compensate for their continual bitching and moaning about referees etc all damn season. The second event will be played at the same venue 27 (ish) hours later between Dundee United and Kirkaldy’s Raith Rovers.

Perfect outcome for me???? TWO giant killing acts and an all first division final!!

I am fed up with all the whingeing that we have had to suffer over the years of “It’s embarrassing to have smaller clubs represent the country in European competition”…”These small clubs have cost us our co-efficient points” etc etc etc on and on and on! The SFA, the SPL and their greedy, money grubbing clubs are what have cost us European places. Other than two spectacular seasons that saw first Celtic, then Rangers reach but ultimately lose the UEFA cup final, Scottish clubshave done nothing noteworthy in Europe, be they big, be they small. Quite simply…we just haven’t got what it takes. It has nothing to do with which domestic league the club happens to play in.

And hey! Exactly what is the difference between those two “giants” of the Scottish game getting to the UEFA final and the prospect of County or Rovers or BOTH making it into the Scottish Cup fnal? Exactly…NOTHING. Celtic and Rangers got to a European final on merit. Why should it be any different than if these two clubs make it to their domestic final?

In terms of national football “structures” we, quite simply, are stuck in the dark ages. Nothing gets done at any speed at all and when anything DOES get changed, you can bet your last penny that it will be something that will favour the “big” clubs.

Just look at this week’s nonsense regarding the appeals process for red cards.

Gordon Smith comes out and says that there is nothing wrong with the existing system and it would fly in the face of FIFA rules to question the fact that the referee’s decision is final – sorry Gordon…if it’s final, why is there ANY appeals procedure in place?. Then we have SPL big-wig Neil Doncaster, a man who seems at least intelligent and in possession of some common sense, telling us that he (and presumably the SPL as a league) are in favour of the refs having nothing to do with appeals. ….cue Gordon Smith back-peddling so furiously that he could take on Sir Chris Hoy and telling us that, in fact, new procedures ARE on their way and that they may be in place for the start of next season.

It’s kinda like David Blunkett taking Helen Keller out for a walk innit?

Anyway, I digress, back to the matter in hand and those Scottish Cup Semi-finals. Pundits all over the place are full of the usual “plucky wee County” this and “cup fairytale for Rovers” that. Utter balls! That’s what I say. Yes, County and Rovers are smaller than the two clubs that they are respectively squaring up to. Of course they are. But BOTH have put SPL teams out of the competition already. BOTH have had decent seasons in that, hellishly competitive, first division. So, why CAN’T they win and both make it to the final? Just because the pundits say so? Oh, right then…cos they never get it wrong do they?

No. This weekend – starting Saturday lunchtime – is the time that “David” will hopefully stand up and be counted once more and bloody the noses of the two big playground bullies!

I live relatively close to Dingwall and I have spent many a day working in Kirkaldy’s linoleum factory (and cushioned vinyl plant when it was still there). Both are ordinary little Scottish towns. BOTH deserve their day in the sun at Hampden. And, hopefully, BOTH will make it through to what, in my opinion, would be both a breath of fresh air and, perhaps more importantly, a timely wake-up call to the Scottish game. One first division side getting to the final can be – and has in the past – put down to luck. Two first division teams getting there?….can that one be put down to luck? Or is it time for that re-structuring I, and many others, have spoken of in the past?

On that score….it’s over to Gordon Smith and Neil Doncaster again I’m afraid. But, as regards this weekend’s cup ties…

‘Mon the Staggies and ‘Mon the Rovers!!!!

Tags: Football, Life
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